i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
