Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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