I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
