I'm jealous of your bromance
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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