Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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