Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
