We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
