I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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