i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
