There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
