Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
