I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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