The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
