I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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