Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
