im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
