"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize