There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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