Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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