READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
