HIV tests are more positive than that guy
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
