I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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