Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize