Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
