WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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