I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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