i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
