SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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