I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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