I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
