"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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