goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
