I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
