plz talk dirty to me
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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