And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How does one acquire holy water?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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