I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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