Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you didnt know i had herpes?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
