what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
