Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
