In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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