She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize