So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
