Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Found the puke drawer
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
