I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
