Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Verdict: uncircumcised.
jump out the window naked night went bad
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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