I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize