She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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