I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
