Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Such a big mess for such a small penis
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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