I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
