I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
