HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
