the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
