is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
...so i touched it.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
