don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
