Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
