I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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