Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
