I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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