When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
