Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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