I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
