did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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