so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize