Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
