I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
