every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize