i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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