I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
