Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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