is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
