Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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