i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
