she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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