morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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